Sunday, January 24, 2010

A SMALL LOVE STORY!!


There are many things that happen to us that leave an ever lasting imprint in our memory and heart.. something that will leave a smile on your face and a tear in your eye.. tear o joy or sadness or is it just a feeling ..... i wonder...

i always wanted to visit kolkata but never got around to go there.. so one fine day, i packed my bag and after a couple of hours i was in kolkotta... moved around here and there , saw places but didnt get joy the one i came here for...

one day... out of no where.. i noticed this girl.... just like many others in this world, she too was living her life.. i still tooo date wonder what was about her that I went and approached her....

met some interesting characters in the past, but then the idea of meeting another strange, though seemed interesting... but was not that amazing.. I still noticed her and approached her.. they way she presented herself was different.. blunt.. and giving others a feel of reality of what was going on... perhaps it was Kolkata... the city of joy.. and it had its own plans to give me joy..

she was wearing a suit.... a black and white.. the colour combination..a unique symbol of unity.. ??? perhaps...

her short hair.. falling on her neck... as if they were kissing it and telling othesr .. look -- there is your biggest reason to be jealous of.......

she had a smile on her face while she was sitting on a corner.. it appeared as if she was smiling at all others and telling them.. what are u running here and there for.. the happiness is just here... still wonder at times.. was it a grin or a smile... but whatever it was.. made her look so enchanting that i could just not blink my eyes.. as i might miss out on a moment of pleasure..


so a stranger in town, i gathered all my courage and approached her... and to my surprise..she greeted me in a manner that i could have never imagined.. it was like i have met someone who was so close to me and meeting her after a long time.. definitely.. the feeling was overwhelming...
we spoke and all the while i was like so mesmerized with her...her looks.. her eyes.. and her smile was like to die for...

then she asked me, hows my sight seeing going... i asked it is nice but i wished if i had someone i knew who would show me the city through their eyes...

she looked at me and smiled.. got up and extended her hand to me and said come... i for instance, just could not get what was going on.. but then got woken up to the ""Helloooo.. kahan ho??""'

took her hand in my hand... and got up... and started walking....

i jus did not want to let go of her hand.. it was cold but yet warm.....after a few steps.. she said.. i know ki thodi thand hai, but hath pakar ke thand khatam nahi hogi....

I, embarrassed, left her hand in a hurry and put in a pocket.. she was about to say sumthing cheeky but never did.. i can only imagine.. perhaps.... " touch ko savour karne wale ho?"

we moved around and she showed me some places.. they were really awesome.. i might have passed through those streets many a times in past few days, but they all seemed new and so vibrant...

the whole afternoon passsed... she said.. she will take me to her fav place .. its near the shores... of ganga and sunset is beautiful there... i said ok . lets go there..

we took a boat and went to a small place.... outside town...

there was hardly anyone.. the boatman dropped us and she told him to come back in two hours to pick us up...

we got off... she looked at me.. held my hand and said lets go.... first she showed me around the area.. it was nice.. green areay with some rocks here and there and few right on the river bank.. after a walk.. she said .. lets go and sit on the bank as the sun is going to set soon... we climbed a big rock and sat on it...

i was still holding her hand..... just never wanted to let go of it...


THANK YOU AMAR FOR THIS!!
to be continued....

4 comments:

  1. Anamika impressive work but i wud say not one of those lingering impact kinds(remember act of adultery)
    Some tips for the budding writer->
    *Indentation matters a lot.So many .... here and there and uncalled for paragraph changes leave the reader confused regarding the structure of the piece.morale->avoid sms lingo.
    *Seems you are narrating the story from the point of view of Amar.but their is a gnawing feeling at the end that amr wanted to say something may be as a monologue or soliloquoy which perhaps you have denied him.
    *Another structural flaw is paragraph grouping baby.
    broadly your piece consisted of 3 sections
    First few moments in kolkata,Description of gal and the unexpected rendezvous.
    never lose focus of the broad sections.
    *nevertheless i can see the sizzling chemistry between the protagonist and the "femme fatale"...waiting desperately for day 2 when the real acttion begins...
    Good job abha!!!!
    cheerio

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  2. Not bad for a debut!
    Work on ur editing, run spell and grammar checks and follow saurabh's suggestion.
    Another observation--u r a genetic copy of prince, reflects in ur style, set up and theme of the story!
    gud luck sweetheart

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Anamika.. Yaar Had no idea that i was supposed to do the spell check..but thanks for the comments guys... Appreciate it..

    will it be day 2 or part 2 we shall see sooon...

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